Jumba's Crop Circles
by The Crazy Chemist
Summary: "No more crop circles!" A short story about one of Jumba's Earth obsessions. I do not own Walt Disney's fabulous Lilo and Stitch or its fascinating characters.


_It was dark and nobody was around. Look left, look right, look behind – confirmed. Steadily increasing the ship's speed. Projecting the extendable blade. Weaving through the crops like a car on that circular Earth road – oh yes, a roundabout, like Pleakley had once pointed out. Speeding home. A feeling of exhilaration._

* * *

Jumba had been acting strange all morning. This wasn't his ordinary quietness with occasional outbursts about his experiments or his genius. There was something up and even young Lilo could tell. He had slept in late and had claimed to be working in his lab until dawn. Yes, this was rather ordinary, but the strange grin that he wore wasn't.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Lilo badgered for the second time staring at her fellow Earth alien uncle.

Still no answer as she chomped on her Choco Maca Candy Bar Crunch cereal.

Stitch waved a hand in front of Jumba's gaze. "Wakey… wakey!"

"6-2-6! What is being the meaning…!" Jumba paused looking at his Earth family. It was Saturday and Lilo and Pleakley were still in their pajamas. Nani was running around getting ready for work; her job at the Rental Hut was endless. He himself was wearing his work clothes too, but in hopes to cover up-

"Why were you smiling like that?" Lilo tried again after the fact.

"Evil genius did not get enough sleep," Jumba stated matter-a-factly hiding his returning smile with his coffee cup, which he took a vigorous sip out of. Pleakley had made it extra strong this morning. "Little one should have-"

"I should have what Jumba?! Let you sleep until two in the afternoon!? I heard on the news that it is unhealthy to be nocturnal! You need your Vitamin D!" Pleakley defended crossing his arms.

"Okay… okay…"

"You're going to bed at eight o'clock tonight mister! And, you're going surfing with David to get some extra sun!" Pleakley declared feeling like he wasn't being heard. Jumba was still drinking his coffee.

"You're not Jumba's mother!" Jumba protested now crossing his arms to mimic Pleakley. "Why is friend making so big deal!?"

"Because I care about you. I sit in my bed worrying. This isn't only affecting you, you know?" a tiny tear forming in his eye.

"Still, matter is not being _cry-worthy_. Is little girl and 6-2-6 still wanting to watch Saturday reruns?"

The four fixated themselves in front of the TV. Pleakley and Jumba, now giving each other the silent treatment, sat on the loveseat. Lilo and Stitch scrawled themselves on the floor. The TV was extra loud; Pleakley must have previously turned up the TV because he was watching something that was making himself cry. Jumba scanned the channels for Lilo and Stitch's favorite cartoons. They only watched particular cartoons, such as ones with the vampires, aliens, zombies, or witchcraft. That was a requirement.

Lilo looked disgusted at the variety, but then her face lit up. "Wait, keep it on this channel!"

"Ih! Ih! _IH!_ " Stitch agreed.

Jumba let out a humph, not exactly his optimal selection. It was the news. It was the breaking news. It was the breaking Kauai news. It was the breaking world news. It was…

"I knew aliens existed!" Lilo said scooting herself closer to the TV.

Pleakley rolled his eye at the screen. "What kind of joke is this? Aliens don't _actually_ make crop circles! That is just some lame stereotype! I bet the farmer was creatively harvesting and just happened to make them." He shook his head in disappointment. The lady on the news continued about the organisms that were feasting on the crops. "Poor defenseless corn earworms… Why, why, WHY!?"

"Hey, has anyone seen my car keys?" Nani sighed looking through the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen. She scavenged the fridge – sometimes they ended up in there by accident. Inside, there seemed to be more corn than she had remembered buying at the supermarket. Maybe Pleakley was craving corn and bought some more recently. Not another big monthly Thanksgiving!

"No Nani!" Lilo answered. "Come see the breaking news!"

"I don't have time for this…" Nani groaned coming into the living room where the rest of her family was inhabiting. "CROP CIRCLES!?" Nani's eyes flared jutting to those of Jumba.

Jumba's smile faded. He wanted to hide. He wanted to retreat to his evil genius lab. He wanted to blast away to Kweltikwan. Wait, why couldn't he? This wasn't his house nor any of his responsibility. He was his own man and could do whatever he pleased.

Regardless, the face he now made was that of guilt.

"I told you no more crop circles!" Nani hollered as Pleakley's eye darted to Jumba in surprise.

"Who'd be saying I made these alien markings? Could have been some other alien! Could have been Pleakley!"

"Hey! Don't get me into this!" Pleakley cried wiping a tear that had fallen down his face. "Poor corn smut! I can't believe you!"

"Did you or did you not make these crop circles?" Nani insisted pointing to the screen sternly.

Jumba scratched his three hairs. He knew he had blown his and Pleakley's cover again. He knew he had disobeyed the orders of his new tyrant. He knew he was hiding this whole shenanigan from his new ohana – the only one he had.

"Yes…" he finally answered.

"Thank you for being honest," Nani said calming down. She looked at her watch. She wasn't completely late yet. She sat on the ground with Lilo and Stitch. "Those crops don't look that good anyway."

"Yeah! Yuck!" Lilo interjected looking at the TV. "But you need a new hobby. One that doesn't get you into so much trouble and one that you enjoy doing."

Pleakley nodded, "That would be the day."


End file.
